| (no subject) |
[Sep. 29th, 2006|03:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | :) REBECKY | ] |
| [ | music |
| | rebecky - rebecky | ] |
i love rebecky. mine mine mine rebecky. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 22nd, 2006|06:26 pm] |
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you have the fucking audacity to fucking hang up one me?! who the fuck do you think you are? i'm sitting over here flailing in misery because i'm fucking stuck here (when you god damn well know i would CRAWL to baton rouge if it were fucking feasible) without you. am i some inconvenience? didn't want me to interrupt your sleep? what the fuck is going on here? i get to stay up all night wondering where the fuck my rebecca went and why she isn't talking to me. yahoo. because i was just having a fucking swell day to begin with; at least i get to roll out of bed tomorrow at seven fucking o clock to go 'get the consequences' from my fucking doctor father. god damnit. i've driven to and from baton rouge EIGHTEEN FUCKING TIMES since you moved up there, and you can't even pick up the motherfucking telephone? that's like 1500 miles! you think that kind of shit is easy? or cheap? it's not either, not by a long shot. i can't believe this. where the fuck do you get off turning off your phone on me? what the fuck is going on that you can't talk to me? whose apartment are you billowing with laura in this time? with which boys? how many of them have you crushed on? am i being petty? sure, who gives a fuck anyway? i'm losing my fucking mind over here because of the separation anxiety and you're of in fucking lala land without a care or obligation in the world (other than to make sure that we don't miss the end of motherfucking existence tailgate party, and please OH PLEASE GOD make sure we NEVER EVER STEP ON ANYONE'S TOES, even if we hate them). how the fuck am i just supposed to go nod off when you can't even talk to me. not to mention that you were supposed to call me anyway. i don't understand. i just really fucking don't understand. the last night you slept over here i bit my tongue until it bled on my bathroom floor trying to keep you from hearing me sobbing. i'm fucking horrified. i'm very sorry if you think i am just some fucking guy. every time someone compliments me around you it's always 'oh you kids' or 'oh that's so easy' or some other irrelevant bullshit. why do you drag me down in your head? what did i do to deserve that? i know you think i'm a moron or something; but you really need to understand that i am NOTHING like anything you've ever come across before, or ever will. i do not operate on the same plane as the rest of these miserable rats running around the world like they have something to do. i just don't. you need to find a way to accept this and integrate it into your relationship with me. i should get 'handle with care' tattooed on my forehead so you won't forget. i'm not just some fucking guy, i'm a god damn genius with more potential in my god damn pinky than anyone you've ever come across; i have no idea why you brand me with this little oh, he thinks he's smart, how odd/cute/stupid/funny. i had a complete battery of tests done on me at the request of my psychologist about two years ago. I BLEW THE FUCKING CHARTS. you think i'm some kind of thug dropout. i really think you have no idea what you're dealing with. i am to be treasured. but i'm fucking breakable! a lot more so than you think i am! and yet somehow i know you're nestled somewhere 90 miles from here and you really won't give a shit in 10 years about me, but i require certain thing (like picking up the god damn phone, it's not that hard). but what the fuck, who cares, i heard you hang up on me! why are we treating me this way? was it something i said? was it any lack of affection on my part? i do not understand why this has happened. you better have a fucking stellar explanation in the morning, and if you don't by god i will not stand for this anymore. goodnight... |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 16th, 2006|03:06 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | roxanne - the police | ] |
you fuckers don't know anything about me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 13th, 2006|06:15 pm] |
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in a city like new orleans i find myself shocked when i have nothing to do. it really is amazing. i wish someone somewhere could tell me what it would be a good idea to do tonight. cafe au laif or some god damn tea. who knows. i miss blaise. i think pigfest is going to be awesome this year, i'm really looking forward to it. i really like rebecca unland. i think she is totally fucking fabulous. yay. i am taking 7 hours at UNO, and i need to get a cellphone tomorrow so i can get a job, i really want a job so i can buy my girlfriend nice things lik |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 13th, 2006|04:03 pm] |
in a city like new orleans i find myself shocked when i have nothing to do. it really is amazing. i wish someone somewhere could tell me what it would be a good idea to do tonight. cafe au laif or some god damn tea. who knows. i miss blaise. i think pigfest is going to be awesome this year, i'm really looking forward to it. i really like rebecca unland. i think she is totally fucking fabulous. yay. i am taking 7 hours at UNO, and i need to get a cellphone tomorrow so i can get a job, i really want a job so i can buy my girlfriend nice things like a porsche. or a ferrari, or maybe a 5th avenue apartment. life is good god is great.
over and out. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2006|09:27 pm] |
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i am chris hayman. today is september 8th, 2006. i got 3 tickets this week. i need to get a godamned job, the boredom is killing me, and will almost certainly do me in since i have been barred from traveling to and from baton rouge. i make it too easy, apparently, for rebecca to be lazy. shame. i am watching her play with numbers and try to be captain college as i write. it's wonderful, very amusing indeed. ''fantastic!'' the math game just said. oh dear. ::sips pellegrino:: yuck. i hjate bubbly water, i don't know why i drink it. whatever. oh well. i am going to go surf a bit. byeness. |
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| un an. |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|07:47 pm] |
hi. i'm sitting in the den of my metairie home, which had been home home until about 2 weeks ago, i've lost count of how many days already. i'm watching the spike lee requiem in 4 acts. tugging. this shit is tough. hard to comprehend it's been a year already, i'll detail (vaguely) what i've done.
August 2005: got used to NOLA after CO, had a week of UNO, evac'd.
September 2005: I was in Marksville for the first 28 days of this month, and my time there shaped the rest of my year. I started smoking cigarettes, in fact the day I evac'd, me and Pete bought a carton of Parliament 100's.
October 2005: Hell. Hot, smelly, boring hell. Welcome home.
November 2005: More bullshit, I get my first job at Andrea's, made tons. Rejoyced at being able to see all my Houston New Orleanians in Thanksgiving. Got used to living with no walls or floors.
December 2005: Finally, it was cold and that made things a bit better. Worked at Mimi's with Adrienne, walked out on the job. December 30, 2005: I listened to wind chimes. Fabulous.
January 2006: Rang in the new year with Mike, Jill, and Erin. Messed around with
TBC |
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| August 29, 2006; 11:44 |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|11:44 am] |
hi. it's been a year. what a fucking year. what a wonderful fucking year.
i wonder how many oxy peter had snorted by this time last year.
or how many times we'd watched pippin.
IIIIIIII thought it was fun. bring on another. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2006|02:28 pm] |
here i am. i have been living in this building now for about 6 days. way too much freedom. blaise and jason stayed for 2 days, david floats in and out, as does rebecca. we watch tv on the cracked out tv i have, the color fades in and out. it's pretty annoying. we play an incredibly unhealthy amount of goldeneye on the n64.
things to do:
-sell hofner
-return books
-homework!??
-(centerfold starts playing)
-jo-un or jew on or whatever it's called just ended. no plot at all.
blah blah, bb's birthday dinner tomorrow, then a night in BR. been nearly a year since the hurricane.
yahoo. i hope i have a good party for the 1-year deal.
there goes that crappy tv again, oh well.
on the lookout for a grant tonight. i hope it goes well. i like that shit.
i need a job.
i need a job.
i need a job. |
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| does that make me crazy? |
[Aug. 18th, 2006|12:19 am] |
okay. amanda's gone. marc's gone; did those goodbyes. tonight we began saying goodbye to dayna, it was harder than i thought. playing with altoids was fun today. we're going to be dealt a huge blow tomorrow by dayna's leaving. i mean, she's like, dave's girl. she's one of our square thing, our nerve center.
it'll be okay.
i'll keep things tidy in new orleans till they come back.
i promise. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2006|12:18 pm] |
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I know so many people who think they can do it alone. They isolate their heads, and stay in their saftey zones. Now, what can you tell them? And what can you say that won't make them defensive? Hang on to your ego. Hang on, but I know that you're gonna lose the fight. They come on like they're peaceful, but inside they're so uptight. They trip through the day, and waste all their thoughts at night. Now, how can I say it? And how can I come on when I know I'm guilty? Hang on to your ego. Hang on, but I know that you're gonna lose the fight. Now how can I say it? And how can I come on when I know I'm guilty? So, hang on to your ego. Hang on, but I know that you're gonna lose the fight. |
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| who's that comin' round that corner? |
[Aug. 16th, 2006|10:09 am] |
here i am. peter's donuts. whatever, okay. i'm not too sure what to start with, but i know i have things to do today. i need to bring a 30 dollar check to privateerpl, call dr moan, go to marc's at three, hang out with becca, go shop with becca, make a list of what i need to move out, move out, that stuff.. ugh.. whatever. grades and classes. ugh. UGHGHUGHUHUGHGHUG WHAT
!!
i want to fucking move out of my fucking house. |
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| So what good would living do me? |
[Aug. 15th, 2006|04:48 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | i guess i just wasn't made for these times - beach boys | ] |
Home is where I want to be, pick me up and turn me round. I feel numb, burn with a weak heart; guess I must be having fun. The less we say about it the better, we'll make it up as we go along. Feet on the ground, head in the sky; it's okay, I know nothing's wrong. Nothing. I got plenty of time; you got light in your eyes; and you're standing here beside me. I love the passing of time. Never for money, always for love. Cover up and say goodnight.
Home is where I want to be, but I guess I'm already there. I come home. She lifted up her wings, guess that this must be the place. I can't tell one from another Did I find you, or you find me? There was a time before we were born. If someone asks, this where I'll be. We drift in and out. Sing into my mouth. Out of all those kinds of people, you got a face with a view. I'm just an animal, looking for a home. Share the same space for a minute or two. And you love me till my heart stops. Love me till I'm dead. Eyes that light up, eyes look through you. Cover up the blank spots, hit me on the head.
i love my friends.
-
blaise left this afternoon, around 2 PM, thus adding another nail in summer's coffin, and greatly upsetting me, much moreso than anyone around me at the time was capable of perceiving or understanding, including blaise himself, i'm sure. i was honestly very sad to see him go.
my epitome group of the summer was Me, Blaise Treuting, Rebecca Unland, David Junker, Dayna LeBlanc, Amanda Marrione*, and of course Gina Lizama.
That leaves me (staying), dayna (leaves in 4 days), manda* (leaves in 2 days), becca (leaves in an undetermined amount of days, def. leaving for good before the 28th, which is the first day of classes at LSU), and davie (also staying); Versus blasé (gone 3 hours), and Gina (gone approx. 60 hours).
*at the time of this writing, amanda is no longer a genuine member of the core group, which is due somewhat to her decision to go back to Virginia.
over and out. |
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| here comes david |
[Aug. 15th, 2006|02:08 pm] |
(2:09 by Becca's Clock, 1:08 by my cellphone.)
Mine eyes gone WHYTE. pURTY KEWL. Still at becca's. nothing more till i am moved out.
until then, i am packing.
becca needs to go buy a printer with her dad and then she'll be okay. |
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| if it's not much/ that you need |
[Aug. 15th, 2006|11:05 am] |
okay. i am sitting at rebecca's computer (i'm here with blaise treuting, becky unland, and david junker) and we're all about to go have some windy fun.
okay, i'll be right back. (11:07 by Becca's clock.)
Okay, I'm in between phase one and phase two as I speak. (11:19 by Becca's clock; 11:18 by my cellular telephone.) Ingested substance is sweet tasing, somewhat leafy, and casually fast-acting. More later.
Here I am returned. (11:28 by Becca's clock.; 11:27 by my cell.) I should clarify that the current time of day is INDEED AFTERNOON. Sprzawing everywhere. I got three honkos running around the room. WTF!
bambi on the wall and cellphone plugged in. tapdincing. garden state wtf wtf wtf. little camera. maybe is ROBODAD HOME OH GOD !!! Rotodad. Denver. Vancouver.
K
I
n
g
s
t
o
nn
i'm youtubing monty python right now. bye. |
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| don't get left behind |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|12:37 pm] |
So I sat in the attic, a piano at my nose; and the wind played a dreadful cantata. Sore was I, from the crack of an enemys hose, and the horrible sound of tomato. Ketchup. Soup and purée, don't get left behind. When a rattle of rats had awoken, the sinews, the nerves and the veins. My piano was boldly outspoken, in attempts to repeat its refrain. So I stood with a knot in my stomach, and I gazed at that terrible sight: of two youngsters concealed in a barrel, sucking monkberry moon delight. Well, I know my banana is older than the rest; and my hair is a tangled beretta, when I leave my pajamas to Billy Budapest, and I dont get the gist of your letter. Catch up, cats and kittens!
Don't get left behind! |
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| hi |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|09:52 am] |
hello. let's call this one part two. i just read up on my deadjournal, and noticed that i've accident-ully chronic-alled my existance, and it was fun to read. so:
my name is christopher. i live in new orleans, i went to memorial baptist preschool, st angela merici grammar school, jesuit high school, grace king high school, UNO, holy savious menard central high school, and i'm at UNO again. about a year ago, there was a hurricane. lakeview's still empty, thus making it the total breeding ground for all of my licentious activities. well, not as much since the MPs came back. i've been listening to windchimes reallllyyy frequently ever since christmas, it's been pretty much my obsession since i found it. 2006 has also been interesting because i've had 4 women this year. which is very atypical of cbwwh i.
i'm still obsessed with the beatles. i'm more obsessed with brian wilson. cool dudes. i was recently kicked out of my second band that kicked me out, stefjoans. which i started. but whatever. we played abbey road all spring and it was fun.
my best friends are david junker and rebecca unland. i see them more that i see my family. but whatever, they are my family. right now i think david's at dayna leblanc's. i think i know what they're doing. gina left a few days ago, leaving everone partly bereft, partly excited.
over and out. |
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chayman's journal